14 February 2007

Weight Loss Wednesdays

Welcome support group friends who have just joined the blog! In the interest of greater accountability (and blogging material), I've moved my updates here.

So, as I said yesterday, I've been struggling to lose weight for going on three years now. Before, I lived in a happy denial place, only trying to lose weight because it's a socially acceptable thing to do. I'm stunned by how good at hiding from myself I was. It's . . . humbling.

I had struggled with weight pretty much all my life. I wasn't a particularly active child, but looking back, I wasn't a heavy child, either. Frankly, I'd love to be back to the weight I thought was fat as a teenager. After college, I just sort of hid and ate. I told my parents I'd go to Weight Watchers if I could afford it. They gave me ten meetings for Christmas and I started in January 2005.

And I did OK that first year. I almost lost 20 pounds that first year. I got frustrated in June because the weight wasn't coming off fast enough, and I couldn't reach that first 10% goal. I gained about 10 pounds back in the second half of the year.

Late November or December, a family friend mentioned my jeans looked loose. I said thank you, but that they always end up feeling tight by the end of the day. She suggested that I might have food sensitivity. The two most troublesome foods are gluten and dairy. I gave it some serious thought. Giving up gluten (in wheat, oats, barely, spelt, couscous, rye and some other stuff I can't recall) and dairy meant not eating anything I normally ate. But I needed away to recommit to my weight loss, and thought this might be a good way to do it. I really thought that the cravings would get me, but I researched and planned.

And was successful. I lost over 40 pounds last year. I got to 60 pounds lost for a grand total. That was a struggle at the end, though. I started to get frustrated in the summer, especially at the family reunion week, and just coasted down the hill from there. I'd gained 9.6 pounds back in 2 months.

Although, I've lost 2.4 pounds of it.

So, what have I learned? Eating the (mostly) unprocessed foods on my "restricted" diet last year helped me to feel my best. I felt lighter and energized. I even got downright giddy some days. I even wanted to move. I want that back. So, I'm glad I've recommitted. And I'm glad you're all here to support me. I probably wouldn't have gotten very far without you.

And to mark just how far I've come, here I am before:

And here I am now:

(Err, sorry about the rotation. I can't figure out how to fix it.)

And, for fun, Osiris:

13 February 2007


I've been thinking these last six weeks about what I want to accomplish in 2007. As I've said before, I plan big, but without much foundational support, and then my card house comes tumbling down in the slightest breeze. I spend the rest of my time lamenting my failure, until I realize that all the cards have blown away, and then I exhaust myself chasing them down. That is the ultimate pattern I would like to break this year. And to do it, I'm only going to focus on 3 things, instead of trying to change my whole universe at once.

1) My weight. I am entering my third year at Weight Watchers. Last year went pretty well. I hit a total of 60 pounds lost (which was just a bit past halfway), and then I ran out of steam. I haven't been able to get back on track since. I'm tired of writing down what I eat, looking up POINTS values, and feeling guilty when I don't. So, I want to finish the weight loss this year. I have a wedding to go to in June. Let's see how well I do.

2) Overspending. I do a lot of it. Mostly on a credit card. Which leads to much stress and a fear of bills. Bills, like taxes and death, are unavoidable. So, I propose to live my life without a credit card this year, working on the theory that credit cards are easier to pay off when their balances are not being added to.

3) Stopping the brain drain. I really feel my brain is starting to atrophy. I can barely think coherently, much less think critically. And I like to think. So, I'm going to read books and watch TV and movies with mindfulness, if not a critical eye. I will journal more and share my observations with you. I will share my passions and embrace my inner geek-girl. (She's very self-conscious and shy.)

I'll be exporing ways to stay on track, and suggestions are also appreciated.

And now for the gratuitous kitty pictures.