Weight Loss Wednesdays

Welcome support group friends who have just joined the blog! In the interest of greater accountability (and blogging material), I've moved my updates here.

So, as I said yesterday, I've been struggling to lose weight for going on three years now. Before, I lived in a happy denial place, only trying to lose weight because it's a socially acceptable thing to do. I'm stunned by how good at hiding from myself I was. It's . . . humbling.

I had struggled with weight pretty much all my life. I wasn't a particularly active child, but looking back, I wasn't a heavy child, either. Frankly, I'd love to be back to the weight I thought was fat as a teenager. After college, I just sort of hid and ate. I told my parents I'd go to Weight Watchers if I could afford it. They gave me ten meetings for Christmas and I started in January 2005.

And I did OK that first year. I almost lost 20 pounds that first year. I got frustrated in June because the weight wasn't coming off fast enough, and I couldn't reach that first 10% goal. I gained about 10 pounds back in the second half of the year.

Late November or December, a family friend mentioned my jeans looked loose. I said thank you, but that they always end up feeling tight by the end of the day. She suggested that I might have food sensitivity. The two most troublesome foods are gluten and dairy. I gave it some serious thought. Giving up gluten (in wheat, oats, barely, spelt, couscous, rye and some other stuff I can't recall) and dairy meant not eating anything I normally ate. But I needed away to recommit to my weight loss, and thought this might be a good way to do it. I really thought that the cravings would get me, but I researched and planned.

And was successful. I lost over 40 pounds last year. I got to 60 pounds lost for a grand total. That was a struggle at the end, though. I started to get frustrated in the summer, especially at the family reunion week, and just coasted down the hill from there. I'd gained 9.6 pounds back in 2 months.

Although, I've lost 2.4 pounds of it.

So, what have I learned? Eating the (mostly) unprocessed foods on my "restricted" diet last year helped me to feel my best. I felt lighter and energized. I even got downright giddy some days. I even wanted to move. I want that back. So, I'm glad I've recommitted. And I'm glad you're all here to support me. I probably wouldn't have gotten very far without you.

And to mark just how far I've come, here I am before:



And here I am now:


(Err, sorry about the rotation. I can't figure out how to fix it.)

And, for fun, Osiris:

Recommitting

I've been thinking these last six weeks about what I want to accomplish in 2007. As I've said before, I plan big, but without much foundational support, and then my card house comes tumbling down in the slightest breeze. I spend the rest of my time lamenting my failure, until I realize that all the cards have blown away, and then I exhaust myself chasing them down. That is the ultimate pattern I would like to break this year. And to do it, I'm only going to focus on 3 things, instead of trying to change my whole universe at once.

1) My weight. I am entering my third year at Weight Watchers. Last year went pretty well. I hit a total of 60 pounds lost (which was just a bit past halfway), and then I ran out of steam. I haven't been able to get back on track since. I'm tired of writing down what I eat, looking up POINTS values, and feeling guilty when I don't. So, I want to finish the weight loss this year. I have a wedding to go to in June. Let's see how well I do.

2) Overspending. I do a lot of it. Mostly on a credit card. Which leads to much stress and a fear of bills. Bills, like taxes and death, are unavoidable. So, I propose to live my life without a credit card this year, working on the theory that credit cards are easier to pay off when their balances are not being added to.

3) Stopping the brain drain. I really feel my brain is starting to atrophy. I can barely think coherently, much less think critically. And I like to think. So, I'm going to read books and watch TV and movies with mindfulness, if not a critical eye. I will journal more and share my observations with you. I will share my passions and embrace my inner geek-girl. (She's very self-conscious and shy.)

I'll be exporing ways to stay on track, and suggestions are also appreciated.

And now for the gratuitous kitty pictures.